Every year American families sit at dinner tables laden with nostalgic dishes and inaugurate the holiday meal by giving thanks. Over pours of red wine, each participant takes their turn to tell the crowd what they, uniquely, are grateful for. Perhaps some families are...
Life Hacks
Sell Your Suitcase: 4 Reasons to Stop Traveling
Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is stay home. 100 places to see before you die, Date a girl who travels and countless other travel happy posts have become cultish memes. We are encouraged to disown our neighborly quotidian life, flee to far flung...
How our ‘PC’ Culture is ruining us
No one says what they really think anymore. Our speech is layered under sucrose blankets, intentions lost in their folds. How did we become PC (politically correct) to the point of incomprehension? Do we fear our words will give people maladies of self loathing? Is...
4 Unconventional Ways to Celebrate V-Day, Solo
It’s February. Your city has transformed into a giant lace doily. Subpar chocolates are veiled in red tinfoil and instantly marked up to a 90% margin. Restaurants create prix fixe menus with courses named like a drugstore romance novel. “Cupid’s Cutlet” and...
Why I Write
In the book “Letters to a Young Poet” Rainer Maria Rilke writes, “Go into yourself. Find out the reason that commands you to write; see whether it has spread its roots into the very depths of your heart. Confess to yourself whether you would die if you were forbidden...
Release Your Mind: The Art of Memory Management
“[W]e must never allow the future to collapse under the burden of memory.” ― Milan Kundera, The Book of Laughter and Forgetting As we get older we accumulate memories. Some are splendid treasures that we go back and visit like we have a membership at the MoMA;...
This Season, Give the Gift of TMI
This December, I returned to Japan, the land of perfection. People scurried through immaculate streets, their porcelain faces masking a crock pot of emotions swirling and bubbling underneath the lid. In Japan, everything is seemingly pristine from even skin tone to...
Why You Don’t Have Community (and How to Build it)
Cities are like swarms of independent ants. People scurry to and from various engagements, prodded by an overbooked calendar and FOMO - Fear of Missing Out. Crowds roll over like an incoming set of waves, and we easily lose one another. Our constant buzzing through...
Don’t Do This in Your 30’s
It was August in San Francisco. The morning fog was so thick I wanted to spread it on my toast. I also wanted its gray shroud to smother the fact that my birthday was approaching and another year would be added to my social media profiles. “Heidi,” a friend told me...
Finger Lickin’ Freedom: 4 Things I Love About America….
I left San Francisco as Friday’s sunset descended, hightailing it on Interstate 80 to make Tahoe for Memorial Day weekend. My speakers blasted Steely Dan and I sang along off key, hoping the wind from my open windows would enhance my soprano. My mind, once saturated...
Addicted to Intensity*: Interview with a Serial Crisis Zone Doctor
Nelson Mandela once said, “If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.” When we try to help people in third world conflict or disaster zones, we often reach out with...
Have Regrets? Get Over It.
Ten years ago I moved to San Francisco with everything I owned packed up in a Honda Civic. The value of my student loan debt far outweighed the value of my material possessions and if I didn’t find a job quickly, I’d have to pawn my shoe collection. I liked my shoes,...
New York vs. San Francisco: In Quotes
My two favorite cities. One I reside in, the other I play in. The Bold Italic recently posted a few articles with the catch phrase, “The Manhattanization of San Francisco" lamenting the two cities' similarities. However, crazy salaries and ridiculous rents aside, San...
NonResolutions: NonImprovement Plans for the New Year
When the calendar reset button approaches, our mind madly scurries to find ways to quiet our deep longing for vice. “We will be better next year!” we exclaim and hastily create New Year’s resolutions to transform ourselves into a better, slimmer, calmer, happier,...
How to Mess Up Your Online Identity (#FAIL)
"The Web can and will influence how others perceive you, both personally and professionally” Sigh. In the past month I’ve sent people to porn, tweeted out my neuroses, participated in humblebragging, and enabled my burning man photos to go viral. When it came to...
My Dirty Secret
It was one of those San Francisco drizzle dusks where you couldn’t tell where the fog ended and the rainclouds started. Dressed in a black trench coat, I met an old colleague outside the warm glow of a Brasserie sign. It was time to confide a dark secret. “You’ll...
Stop Talking: Making Less More.
We’ve all heard the phrase “Less is more” but how often to we really employ this? We are always seeking “more.” Say more, do more, be more. As another birthday descends upon me, I feel a case of the ‘more neuroses’ coming on. Have I done enough? Or is my life one...
Imperfectly Naked
Last month I received a postcard from Champasak,Vietnam. It was from my high school friend Tim. After getting his PhD from MIT, he decided to turn down lucrative offers and buy a boat to sail around the world for a few years. “F*** what I’m supposed to do. This is...
3 Ways To Indulge like a Parisian
From food to fashion to love....how to let seduction take over...gracefully. I first thought it best to start my new job with restraint and productivity. I went on a detox cleanse, wore sensible shoes, and went to bed early. And then I was sent to Paris. As I...
Things Not Posted on Facebook
A college friend came to visit recently and remarked, “Wow, you’ve really made it in San Francisco. I can tell from your posts on Facebook.” Er. That was right after another friend called me out for ‘humble brag’ on a recent post about a secret admirer. I realized...
How to Live Life and Love it!
The first message I received on Valentines Day went something like this: heidi,this is the first time I’ve looked at facebook in 5 months or so. i wanted to tell you that i love how much you live your life. few people ever live truly, and so most people might as well...