“Stop writing about finding a relationship,” he told me. “That’s the easy part. Write about how to keep one.” My friend John was a 40-year-old serial monogamist. He couldn’t make a relationship last even though he aspired to find a woman he could “have passionate sex...
“In my wildest dreams, I never thought I’d be going to a gay wedding,” said my uncle. “I didn’t even know what gay meant as a kid,” said my dad. “In college the term gay just meant being happy. We’d say we had a gay ol’ time.” My uncle chuckled. “Well, guess we’re...
Last week, I lied to all of you. Ok, I didn’t lie. But I certainly didn’t share the whole truth, which is almost the same thing. An old friend pointed this out to me while we were catching up downtown. “Heidi, what the hell was going on in your last post?” Like any...
“Write about the search,” he said. “That’s what’s fucking killing everyone.” “The search?” Did he mean finding a new rent controlled apartment that wasn’t possessed by fruit flies? Or perhaps a new startup job that boasted an extra one-zillionth percent of equity? In...
It’s February. Your city has transformed into a giant lace doily. Subpar chocolates are veiled in red tinfoil and instantly marked up to a 90% margin. Restaurants create prix fixe menus with courses named like a drugstore romance novel. “Cupid’s Cutlet” and...
Do you remember…when you thought you found ”The One?” The One you wrote poems about at 3am because the butterflies kept you from sleeping. And eating. And all other human functions that disappear when infatuation invades your body. You didn’t even poop for three...
“Have you ever been in love?” I asked a Frenchman with a mustache the size of a baguette. I was technically in Paris for work, but couldn't resist badgering strangers, researching the prospect of “easy love.” The Frenchman looked at me like I was crazy. “Mais oui,...
February 14, 2014 Dear Liver, It was always you. Other lovers, organs and parts have come and gone (oh, poor tonsils) but it is only you that have remained stoically in love and support of me throughout my trying life. Our journey together has been magical and this...
In the spirit of Date an Illiterate girl and to show two sides of a Sliding Doors moment, I've painted a picture of a few possible outcomes for the choices we make in love. Marry a Man Who Doesn’t Read (and Has a Nice Watch) Marry a man who doesn’t read literature. Or...
A college friend came to visit recently and remarked, “Wow, you’ve really made it in San Francisco. I can tell from your posts on Facebook.” Er. That was right after another friend called me out for ‘humble brag’ on a recent post about a secret admirer. I realized...
“Write about love,” she asked. Three weeks before her wedding, one of my closest friends asked me to create a poem to follow the exchange of vows. The world stopped at her request. My limbs stretched and my arms grasped for adjectives to describe this mysterious...