I go crazy each holiday. I have multiple bins of Fourth of July, Valentines, Easter, Halloween and Christmas decor that would make Santa’s workshop jealous. After each holiday, I carefully wrap each decoration like I’m tucking babies into bed, lovingly placing them back in their bins for storage. Only then do I mentally shift gears for the next seasonal transition.

I believe relationships are like seasons.

For them to properly transition, we must give gratitude for what we gave, received, and most importantly, learned about ourselves. Sometimes it’s not necessarily an end, but a shift—like going from pumpkin spice to peppermint, or from collaborative colleague to potential business partner.

A former colleague I genuinely respected recently moved to a company that could benefit from our services. We’d worked together for two years, grabbed drinks after tough projects, and maintained an easy rapport. Suddenly, our relationship required new navigation. How do you maintain authentic connection without seeming like you’re immediately “selling” to them?

Relationships shapeshift every day. I have a close friend I’ve spoken to daily for almost four years, but recently they  pulled away. Communication became  less frequent and it lost its juice. While some advised me to let it drift naturally, I think addressing changes directly serves everyone better. We all need to know what’s up.

Transparency is everything.

With my former colleague, I reached out with a simple approach—I suggested we catch up personally first. “Let’s grab coffee and hear about your new role,” I said. Then, separately, I was upfront: “I’d also love to explore how our companies might work together. Would you be open to a separate conversation about that?”

With my friend, I let them know my feelings and tried to address the lost connection using those “I “ statements my therapist recommends.

The key in both conversations was acknowledging our evolving relationships.

For my former colleague- I wasn’t pretending my company’s interests didn’t exist, but I also wasn’t reducing our friendship to a sales opportunity. By creating space for both the personal connection AND the professional possibility, I honored what we’d built while being honest about what could develop.

With my friend, we learned that communication changes just need to be talked about, so we can find a new way to maintain deep connection in our busy lives.

Some people ghost when relationships shift—whether personal or professional. In romance, this might mean vanishing rather than saying “this isn’t working.” In business, it looks like suddenly going cold when you shift jobs.

I recently learned something fascinating from observing both high-performing sales teams and um, people in the polyamory community (hey, I live in the San Francisco area—polyamory is on every podcast here). Both groups practice radical honesty about relationship dynamics, making everything transparent: desires, boundaries, beginnings, and endings.

While that relationship style isn’t for me, there’s something “mainstream me” can learn: acknowledge when dynamics shift, discuss boundaries upfront, and create clear expectations. The result? Less anxiety, fewer mixed signals, and definitely less time analyzing response times like we’re decoding hieroglyphics.

Direct communication about changing dynamics isn’t confrontational—it’s respectful. It allows relationships to evolve authentically rather than forcing people to guess your intentions. (I used to write wax-sealed love letters in my 20s. Direct communication has always been my default.)

I’ve found a way to navigate changing friendships and business relationships successfully because things were addressed directly. It’s not about trying to save what was—but rather acknowledging the change and creating what is new.

“Direct, honest, straightforward communication is kind. Sidestepping the truth doesn’t serve anyone involved.” — Gina Senarighi