Heidi Isern

writer. thinker. whiskey drinker.


The Only Resolution You Should Make

I don’t do New Year’s Resolutions. I do ‘December Absolutions,’ activities to reduce accumulated guilt by Dec 31 (and not a day after). A completed Absolution cleanses me from the past year while also validating my intensive champagne consumption as I step into the new one. This year, my ‘Absolution’ was to write 50,000 words toward a book, absolving my laziness and lack of true aspiring novelist dedication. However, every

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The Grateful Competition

Every year American families sit at dinner tables laden with nostalgic dishes and inaugurate the holiday meal by giving thanks. Over pours of red wine, each participant takes their turn to tell the crowd what they, uniquely, are grateful for. Perhaps some families are calm during this time. Maybe others are lovingly sentimental. Not mine. No no, Thanksgiving is not a community building event in the Isern household!  It’s a

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Why Delhi is Better than Burning Man

If you want to truly understand humanity and the full spectrum of life experience, don’t go to Burning Man.  Go to Delhi. There, the gods cut a prism to bend waves of dark and light, casting a multitude of shades that flood the city’s crevices. Life breathes hot down the neck. Music blares from corners you didn’t know existed. You are immersed in the entirety of the human condition. “You want

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Sell Your Suitcase: 4 Reasons to Stop Traveling

Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is stay home. 100 places to see before you die, Date a girl who travels and countless other travel happy posts have become cultish memes. We are encouraged to disown our neighborly quotidian life, flee to far flung corners, embrace fleeting moments, and only associate with those passport happy folk that, thank God, have our same transient enlightened understanding of the

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How our ‘PC’ Culture is ruining us

No one says what they really think anymore. Our speech is layered under sucrose blankets, intentions lost in their folds. How did we become PC (politically correct) to the point of incomprehension? Do we fear our words will give people maladies of self loathing? Is the plain truth so destructive that we must put a cloak of saccharin around it? No one is too fat. (let’s just extend the seatbelt

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A Woman at Odds: Baby or Love?

In many parts of the world, people do not have choices. The local store carries only one brand of toothpaste. Marriages are arranged. And fertility is finite.  Notions of swiping people’s faces on Tinder and freezing eggs so we can ‘focus on our career’ read like science fiction. We silicon valley dwellers are ADD afflicted bionic mutants frockickling across the “Planet of Eternal Options.”  However, our mirages of endless possibility

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4 Unconventional Ways to Celebrate V-Day, Solo

It’s February. Your city has transformed into a giant lace doily. Subpar chocolates are veiled in red tinfoil and instantly marked up to a 90% margin.  Restaurants create prix fixe menus with courses named like a drugstore romance novel. “Cupid’s Cutlet” and “Seduction soufflé” tempt the hopeless romantics into overbooked venues.  Smelling a chance for sex, people start pairing up like socks out of the dryer.  The 14th arrives with

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Why I Write

In the book “Letters to a Young Poet” Rainer Maria Rilke writes, “Go into yourself. Find out the reason that commands you to write; see whether it has spread its roots into the very depths of your heart. Confess to yourself whether you would die if you were forbidden to write. This most of all: ask yourself in the most silent hour of the night, must I write?”   Must

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Release Your Mind: The Art of Memory Management

“[W]e must never allow the future to collapse under the burden of memory.” ― Milan Kundera, The Book of Laughter and Forgetting   As we get older we accumulate memories.  Some are splendid treasures that we go back and visit like we have a membership at the MoMA; others haunt us like a dripping faucet in the middle of the night. Plunk.Plunk.Plunk.  Eerily irksome…and at 3 am it requires superhuman

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